Audience & Industry Essay Feedback

Audience & Industry Essay;

Learner Response

1) Copy & paste your feedback from the email 

WWW: There is definite progress here – you’ve written over 700 words and it’s clear you’ve picked up on the discussions and debates we’ve had in class regarding the power of the internet and its influence on audiences. You’ve covered both sides of the debate for all three industries and the points you make are spot on. This is a great way to end your first term in GCSE Media and gives you a great platform to go on and target the higher grades for the rest of the course.

EBI: Your biggest area to improve on in this essay is written English. You need to make sure your spelling, punctuation and grammar is perfect when writing GCSE essays. Errors such as there/their/they’re are not acceptable at GCSE level. One issue is writing on the blog – it may be worth writing in Microsoft Word first and then copying it over to the blog. This will help you identify any spelling or grammar mistakes before publishing.

In terms of the essay itself, make sure you use the actual wording from the question in every paragraph (e.g. internet, audience, power). In your introduction you actually say the advantages and disadvantages of the media which isn’t the question!

Finally, try and add examples from the media in each paragraph. For example, in the music industry section you could discuss actual artists that have become famous through the internet and for TV you could mention Netflix original series etc.

LR: See tasks on blog.

2) What was the word count for your essay?
The word count for my essay was 736 words.

3) What was your strongest paragraph & why?
In my opinion, my strongest paragraph was the one about the Music Industry. This is because it has the least mistakes and errors out of all the other paragraphs.

4) What was your weakest paragraph & why?
In my opinion, my weakest paragraph was the one about the Film & TV Industry. This is because it has the most mistakes and errors out of all the other paragraphs.

5) Re-write one of your paragraphs from the essay
In this essay I am going to be explaining the disadvantages and advantages of the media, how it has affected a couple of industries and the fact that audiences have more power than they have had before. I agree with the statement to a certain extent because the media has given the audience more power than they had before. When it had hit the year 2000 the internet had just about came out and this affected us because as more phones came out the quality of the screens got better. So since the quality got better no one really decided to go to places like the cinema and started to watch illegal downloads. No one would buy the news as often and would get instant news of electronic devices.